Every week I sit down and write to you. Every week Barbara and I record another podcast. Every week I make reels, write captions, answer comments, and try to put language to things most women have never been given permission to say out loud. Every week women tell me the same thing: “I just want to feel alive again.” They tell me they’ve lost themselves.They tell me they don’t recognize the woman they’ve become.They ask me how to come home to themselves. And then… Silence. Not because I think...
4 days ago • 1 min read
One of the saddest things I hear women say is:"I thought I was the only one." The only one who doesn't want sex anymore.The only one who can orgasm alone, but not with her partner.The only one whose body feels different now.The only one lying awake at 2 a.m., secretly wondering if everyone else figured this out and she didn't. If you've been carrying one of these questions quietly for longer than you'd like to admit... You're NOT the only one. This week, Barbara and I sat down and answered...
8 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, Most of us were taught to think of pleasure as something we earn. Something that comes after the work is done. After everyone else has been taken care of. After we've been productive enough. But lately I've been wondering...What if we've been taught exactly backwards? What if pleasure isn't the reward? What if it's actually one of the things your body has needed all along? That question became the starting point for this week's conversation with Barbara, and it led us somewhere...
15 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, For a long time, I thought women joined my world because they wanted more pleasure.More desire.Better sex.More confidence in their bodies. And yes… those things absolutely happen. But after working with hundreds of women, I’ve realized something. The women who find me couldn’t look more different. Some are having incredible sex.Some haven’t wanted sex in years. Some are happily married.Some are divorced. Some have built beautiful lives.Others feel like they’re barely holding things...
19 days ago • 2 min read
Reader, There was a bargain I didn't even realize I'd agreed to. Maybe you made it too. It went something like this...Be good.Be responsible.Take care of everyone else.Don't ask for too much.Don't be selfish.Work hard.Hold it all together.And eventually...You'll feel fulfilled! The problem is, for so many women, that day never comes.Not because they failed.Because the bargain itself was never designed to create the thing they were actually looking for. I see this all the time. Women whose...
22 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, Have you ever caught yourself wishing you had your younger body back?Not because you actually want to be twenty-five again.But because things just felt… easier. I remember sometime in my early forties starting to notice all the little changes. My body didn’t bounce back the same way.I had to think about warming up before I exercised.Gray hairs started showing up faster than I could keep up with them.I noticed people checking me out less often.Some clothes didn’t fit the same.My...
26 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, A lot of women arrive in midlife feeling like they're losing something. (I know I did!) Not all at once. Just a quiet sense that something was changing.That some invisible clock had started ticking. That the things that made me valuable were somehow slipping away. Youth.Beauty.Desirability.Relevance.Possibility. And because that's the story we've been given, I assumed that feeling made sense. Of course this season would feel unsettling.Of course there would be grief.Of course there...
29 days ago • 1 min read
For years, I was preparing for something.I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was. I was preparing to become less. Less attractive.Less relevant.Less alive. I thought that was just what happened to women as they aged. Not overnight.Gradually.A slow fading. But something strange happened. The future I was preparing for never arrived. Instead, as I aged, I became more myself.More honest.More comfortable in my own skin.More willing to disappoint people.More willing to want what I want.More...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Reader, For most of my life, I believed the same thing most women believe. That there was a peak.A moment when you were at your most desirable, most beautiful, most magnetic, most sexually alive. And after that?A slow decline. I don't know exactly where I learned it. 🧐 Maybe from magazines.Maybe from movies.Maybe from watching women panic about turning 30, then 40, then 50.Maybe from hearing women joke that they were "29 forever."Maybe from simply existing in a culture that treats female...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
I want to say something that might piss you off.Or maybe it’ll feel like relief.Or maybe you’ll read it and think, “Oh.”“That’s why.” I think women were sold a very dangerous lie. Not about sex.Not about aging.Not about relationships. About our value. Somewhere along the way, we learned that our worth came from being useful.Being dependable.Being easy to love.Being the woman everyone could count on. And if we did that well enough? We’d finally feel safe.Loved.Enough. But the older I get, the...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read