Hey Reader, A client told me she and her partner hadn’t had sex in two months. Before I could ask the next question, the case was already assembled. They had just moved. They were living out of an Airbnb. He had started a new job. His mother was in the hospital. They were house hunting. Every reason was true. Not one was invented. Not one was ridiculous. The case was airtight. And it still wasn’t the whole truth. I listened, then said:“Nothing is more important than this. This is your person....
1 day ago • 1 min read
You are the woman people trust to know what to do. You make the decision. Carry the consequence. Handle the conversation. Keep the whole machine moving. Then your erotic imagination hands you a fantasy in which you are not in charge at all. You surrender. You're chased. You're watched. You're wanted so completely that someone else takes over and, for once, you're responsible for absolutely nothing. And instead of letting yourself feel it, your intelligent brain starts building a case against...
8 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, Something tells me that you are one of THOSE women. The one people call when shit falls apart. The one who makes the decision. Finds the solution. Handles the conversation. Holds everyone together. You know how to do hard things. But that spectacular competence has a shadow. It can keep you inside situations long after they have stopped being right for you simply because you are capable of handling them. So you keep managing the relationship that quietly drains you.You keep...
12 days ago • 1 min read
He thinks you like it. The way he touches you. The pace. The pressure. The thing he keeps doing because you keep making the sounds that tell him it’s working. Of course he thinks you’re satisfied. You’ve become exceptionally skilled at protecting him from the truth. You tell yourself you don’t want to interrupt the moment. You don’t want him to feel criticized. You don’t want to turn sex into another complicated conversation that has to be carefully managed. So you adjust. You make do. You...
15 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, There’s a particular kind of fantasy that makes a lot of women nervous to admit. The fantasy of someone else taking over. Not because she wants to be powerless. Because she is so fucking tired of being responsible for everything. She makes the decisions. Keeps track of the details. Anticipates everyone’s needs. Holds the family, the work, the schedule, the emotional temperature of the room. And somewhere inside all of that competence is a body whispering: Please. Let me put it down....
22 days ago • 1 min read
I hadn't moved out yet. I was still sleeping down the hall from a marriage I had already decided to leave, 26 years deep into a life that looked good on paper and felt half alive underneath it. And one night, lying in bed, I picked up my phone and texted a man I hadn't spoken to in 27 years. I didn't plan it. I didn't overthink it. Something in me just knew. Today's episode is the first time I've told this story (publicly) anywhere. All of it. The end of my marriage. What I actually said to...
29 days ago • 1 min read
There are very few things in life that:Feel fucking fantastic.Cost absolutely nothing.Are available whenever you want them. And may offer real benefits during perimenopause and menopause. Yet somehow, most of us were taught to feel ashamed of masturbation before we even knew what it was. Even I've felt that shame. And I'd call myself a pretty sexually expressed woman. So Barbara and I decided to drag the whole conversation into the light on the podcast this week. We also went places we didn't...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
I used to think dating in midlife would be the hard part. Turns out... dating wasn’t the hard part. Recognizing myself was. Barbara and I sat down this week to record an episode about dating after 40. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, we realized we weren’t really talking about dating anymore. We were talking about the woman who eventually has to walk back into the world. The one living in a body that feels different.The one who’s spent years taking care of everyone else. The one...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Every week I sit down and write to you. Every week Barbara and I record another podcast. Every week I make reels, write captions, answer comments, and try to put language to things most women have never been given permission to say out loud. Every week women tell me the same thing: “I just want to feel alive again.” They tell me they’ve lost themselves.They tell me they don’t recognize the woman they’ve become.They ask me how to come home to themselves. And then… Silence. Not because I think...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
One of the saddest things I hear women say is:"I thought I was the only one." The only one who doesn't want sex anymore.The only one who can orgasm alone, but not with her partner.The only one whose body feels different now.The only one lying awake at 2 a.m., secretly wondering if everyone else figured this out and she didn't. If you've been carrying one of these questions quietly for longer than you'd like to admit... You're NOT the only one. This week, Barbara and I sat down and answered...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read